Discussion in 'Fantasy Sports Central' started by webz, Oct 2, 2009.
Ha! I read this post on my phone, which doesn't show the strike outs.
Just spent half an hour or so evaluating all the trade-offs in setting my lineup for this week only to see I am playing BYE. Watch out BYE the Cogs are coming to get you.
For some reason I thought I was playing the Cogs this week and expected to be swept out.
Luckily, I am playing the Beers, and doing ok. We're even on games to play the rest of the way, I think it's really going to come down to how many minutes Nate Robinson can get for me.
Ok? Mwaves are rolling (through Tuesday).
Bye week could be trouble for Squirrels
Denver gets ready for PFKL playoffs
After a long season full of drinking and dunking, the Denver Squirrels are in the PFKL playoffs in the inaugural year of the franchise. The team’s second place finish in the regular season has equipped Denver with a first round bye and an opportunity to rest, heal and recover from a tough regular season.
“We’ve essentially given our players a week off” explained Squirrels’ General Manager, BallDon’tLie. “Rufus insisted on not having any practices, meetings or team related activities. We’ll simply just show up next Monday night and play whoever ends up being our opponent in round-2”.
The decision to grant the team so much time away from basketball related activities has been widely criticized by analysts and pundits. With so much at stake, the prevailing opinion is that the Squirrels should stage a week-long mini-camp similar to what the first place Orbit City Cogs are conducting. Most experts feel that granting the Squirrels (of all teams) so much time-off could end up being seriously detrimental to their chances of success in the postseason.
“Those guys are a loose bunch that likes to have fun” commented PFKL analyst Jeff VanGundy. “With their history of substance abuse and legal problems, I firmly believe that down-time could end up being their down-fall! They should be keeping their eyes on the prize and putting in the work in an effort to get better.”
When asked for comment on his strategy of allowing his team to get away from the game, coach, Rufus Henry stated; “(Expletive) dat (expletive)! Dat (expletive) be nonsense! …If dat mutha(expletive) BanGumby knew whasup, he’d still be coachin’!” Henry added. Henry himself was only reached for comment when an anonymous tip led Denver Post beat writer, Ben Hochman to a Colfax Avenue motel on the City’s East side where Henry is “shackin’-up wit some hookers” for the week.
Many Squirrels players are reportedly ‘getting away from the game’ as well.
- Dirk Nowitzki has been in New Orleans and was seen vomiting on a police officer in the French Quarter on Tuesday evening
- Team Captain, Metta World Peace had a bad reaction to some LSD and is currently recovering in a mental institution.
- Kyle Lowry and Rudy Gay have been charged with arson after accidently burning down a SmashBurger location in Boulder. Reportedly, the two players were trying to light a marijuana cigarette using a spark from an electrical outlet in the restaurant’s bathroom.
- On Monday evening, Gordon Hayward was found by secret service, passed-out on the front lawn of outgoing Secretary of the Interior-Ken Salazar’s Denver residence. Hayward was treated and released for alcohol poisoning on Tuesday morning.
- Team mascot, Walter the Squirrel was found sleeping in a bed with a 92 year-old female resident of an Aurora nursing home.
- Damian Lillard, Chandler Parsons and Paul Millsap were all involved in a Monday evening police shootout during an incident where the players were suspected of stealing copper components out of commercial air conditioning units at an office park in Littleton.
- 3 Squirrel Girls dance team members are scheduled to appear in Adams county court on prostitution charges.
- Serge Ibaka reportedly left an incoherent phone message in the voicemail box of “The View” host Whoopie Goldberg. The call originated somewhere in Savanna-la-Mar, Jamaica.
At this point, it’s unknown who the Squirrels’ second round opponent will be. Whoever it is, it will certainly be a quality opponent with momentum coming off of a round-1 victory.
Squirrels Notebook; Flesh Fest! A lot of teams issue official T-shirts to show crowd solidarity and team spirit during the playoffs. Everyone has tuned into a big playoff game and seen a “whiteout” with the entire crowd wearing white.
The Diamond Cabaret gentlemen’s club along with Sweater Meat magazine is getting behind the Denver Squirrels by officially sponsoring Flesh Fest. All crowd members in attendance at the Denver Coliseum for the Squirrels’ 2nd round matchup are urged to totally get naked and come on out to cheer on the team.
“A lot of teams have done t-shirts and color themed crowd participation events in the playoffs. We wanted to do something that has never been done before” Said Squirrels’ GM, BallDon’tLie. “Just think of how beautiful it will be on TV with an entirely shirtless crowd showing their unity and going crazy for our team. Fear the flesh man!”
Note: Denver City Councilwoman, Peggy Lehmann has filed an injunction to prevent this promotion from taking place. Please check with the Denver Coliseum box office prior to attending any game without proper attire next week.
PFKL Playoff Preview:
Auburn Hills vs Sandwich:
The Potato Skins solidified the 3 seed by absolutely crushing Team 2XR a couple weeks ago. The Skins are lead by Steph Curry who hopes to try and make up for the injured Kyrie Irving. With Irving out for the year, Auburn Hills is ripe for an upset by the Microwaves who limped into the playoffs with a tough loss to the league leading Cogs. With injuries to Derrick Rose and rookie, Andre Drummond, ‘Waves GM Roscoe 36 was active all season long in the free agent market. However, with forward LeBron James, this team can never be counted out.
Webz Wombatz vs Team 2XR:
The Wombatz enter the playoffs coming off a hard-fought victory over Auburn Hills in the final week of the regular season. With Deron Williams finally playing like himself along with Nikola Peckovic returning from injury, the Wombatz are poised to make a deep run in the postseason. One drawback that may hamper the ‘Batz is the recent acquisitions of Jarrett Jack and Andrew Bogut. Both of these ex-Denver Squirrels players have fragile psyches after recently being released from rehab. Both of these players were reported to have had some of the worst chemical dependency issues on record. Famed Celebrity Rehab host Dr. Drew Pinsky called both players “absolute lost causes who will be lucky to make it through the remainder of today without doing harm to themselves and/or their loved ones”.
Team 2XR is doing some re-habbing of their own with a bevy of injuries to key players; Monte Ellis (Wrist), Tyson Chandler (Neck), Anderson Varejao (Hair), Dion Waiters (Knee). One bright spot is 2nd year swingman Paul George who has taken his all-around game to a new level this season.
Orbit City Cogs (1st round bye):
The Cogs might be the greatest basketball team ever assembled with a roster that basically looks like the Hall of Fame induction ceremony in the year 2022. Despite Orbit City’s success and all of the discussion regarding their undefeated season, a dark cloud of controversy follows this team into the playoffs. Allegations of the wide spread use of performance enhancing drugs have blanketed this team all year long. All of the ‘juicing’ talk started last summer when the team was purchased by Victor Conte along with naming rights to the Cogs’ new arena, the BALCO center.
Denver Squirrels (1st round bye):
How this rag-tag group of thugs and misfits ever even made the playoffs is beyond comprehension. The Squirrels have no top-10 players on their roster and only one among the top-25 (Serge Ibaka). In spite of their success this year, Denver is still more known for their hard-partying antics and tendency to bring weapons to games. Most experts agree that this is a team that has no place in the playoffs. It’s likely that the Squirrels will be eliminated quickly by their 2nd sound opponent (whoever that ends up being).
Great work BDL. Appreciate the matchup previews - I used to post these until I got stuck travelling. What a drain.
Yea, Webz used to do some nice previews.....back 3 or 4 years ago......
webz is too busy going up 9-0. Early though.
2 DNPs and Beers is back in it...
I am not liking the current spate of injuries hitting my team. Parker (ankle), Calderon (throwing up in a bag), West (back), and Marion (non specific leg thing).
I appreciate it. We may go down to the wire...
Congrats Bill. My little engine that could ran out of juice. Go win that title.
Frustrating loss. It came down to razor-thin margins in three categories. And statistically I was real competitive relative to the rest of the league this week.
Here's a fun fact: I would have beaten BillLaimbeer's team this week, but I would have lost to Roscoe's team. It's all about the matchups.
My team is really struggling. I deserved to lose to you. Kyrie Irving going down was a killer. Then, I had Wade and Vucevic get hurt. I may get slaughtered next round.
You guys have nothing to worry about.
We had a bye week last week and Rufus had the bright idea of giving everyone the week off.
The only guys that showed up for shootaround this morning were Milsap and D-Lillard and 'Sap just took a nap on a bench in our locker room.
There are 3 lottery pick deciding matchups this week.
Winless v Slippy for the #1 pick.
CJ v Linwood for the #3 pick.
Roscoe v 2xr for the #5 pick.
Set your lineups cos you still have something to play for.
Did you sabotage my team's pre-game meal? I have two guys coming up with mysterious abdomen injuries...
Curry looked healthy last night.
The Squirrels are screwed.
Out team captain, Metta World Peace was involved in a bar-fight the other night and went down with a jacked-up knee (slipped on some vomit during the melee). Subtract about 36 pts, 15 reb, 6 stls, and 2 blks from the scoreboard this week and it looks like Laimbeer's Auburn Hills crew will be earning the chance to get murdered in the finals by those damned Cogs.
Separate names with a comma.